I feel so broody like its more than any other woman can feel, like to feel complete i need to be pregnant, i keep mentioning this to my fiancee and anytime i mention it he just blankly replies "i love you" then more or less ignores me doesnt try and talk to me about it just i love you and heads off to sleep. Leaving me feeling extrmely angry at him he just seems so inconsiderate i know hes not but he just doesnt seem to think.
Its like a joke i just feel like i cant trust he will ever say yes, he is occaisionaly sympathetic but how do i know he isnt just going to keep dragging things along.
Anyway this just breaks my heart i just want to cry i try not to feel this way but just cant help it
- Mood:
lonely
Try to sail you cant with no air
day by day it only gets harder
trying to scream but nobody cares
through the glass you see the same faces
hear the voices fade like a drone
when your lifes a boat in the bottle
your surrounded drifting alone
dont leave me now
stay another day
with me
when your sad and no one knows it
ill send you black roses
when your hearts dark and frozen
i'll send you black roses
Far away way we wait for each other
im still on that road to nowhere
kiss yourself for me in the miirror
tie a black rose into your hair
dont lose your faith
share another night with me
when your sad and no one knows it
ill send you black roses
when your hearts dark and frozen
i'll send you black roses
Ten black roses
Ten black roses
Life is like a boat in the bottle
try to sail you cant with no air
day by day it only gets harder
try to scream but nobody cares
when your sad and no one knows ity
ill send you black roses
when your hearts dark and frozen
ill send you black roses
ten black roses
ten black roses
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
loved - Music:rasmus thrid uk album
Lips are turning blue
a kiss that cant renew
i only dream of you
my beautiful
tiptoe your room
a starlight in the gloom
i only dream of you
and you never knew
sing for absoloution
i will be singing
and falling from your grace
theres no where left to hide
in no one to confide
the truth burns deep inside
and well never die
lips are turning blue
a kiss that cant renew
i only dream of you
my beautiful
sing for absolution
i will be singing
and falling from your grace
oh............................
sing for abolution
i will be singing
and falling from your grace
yeah............................
our worlds remail unrectified
and our souls
wont be exhumed
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
relaxed
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
chipper
Black books 10/10
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
jubilant - Music:rock n roll nerd by tim minchin
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
stressed
- Location:newquay
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
irritated
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
tired
1. To be able to afford our own place so that we can ...
2. Get Married and have the wedding that both we and ryan want , as we want to do it properly, so then we can
3. Fill the spare bedrooms with sprogs which would be lovely
4. And then live a happy life.
So Its going to be a long time before this happens and i fulfill my dreams.
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
crushed
I think it might be manchester tommorow, we'll catch the train from sheffield and have a nice stroll round manchester. I have taken note to make sure i go to afflecks palace havnt been in such a long time, i really enjoyed it in there when i had money to burn, i'd of loved to have had somewhere like that when i was in my teens.
I'll probably get some t-shirts for work a cd if im lucky from fopp and a starbucks frappacino which has nothing to do with coffee, but my lil sis had made me succum to the master which is starbucks.
Anyway we will see with tommorows post.
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
pleased - Music:corrie theme
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
hot - Music:funky town
Becca
- Location:sheffield
- Mood:
confused - Music:classical
Why is it that no one seems to know what any one is doing. All you want to know is who you need to talk to and you end up being passed from company to company until someone says they have nothing to do with it and send you back to the first company the HM revenues and Customs whose site you checked originally and couldnt find anything that seemed to relate to my problem through all the jargon and crap, who i cant email so i have to call waste minutes and probably not be able to get through to. So good luck to me on wednesday/thursday.
And while im here... Thanks a lot O'briens/Parkridge Ltd for fucking up my National Insurance number and causing all this stress but then again there good at that and not double checking important information or doing anything respectably. The whole thing was a joke.
B
- Location:Sheffield
- Mood:
angry - Music:KOL
9/10 Holiday 17th - 25th June
Me and Ryan travelled on the national express service to newquay from sheffield changing at birmingham starting at 7:50 and arriving at 5:50. It wasn't too bad and was sunny when we arrived. We stayed for the eight nights in the Longbeach Hotel b&b, it wasnt the smartest place but we had everything we needed double ensuite digital tv and a gorgeous view of fistral beach and the golf course out of a massive window by our bed, watching the sun set over the sea was fantastic.
Most mornings we went out for breakfast and had a full english at our favourite cafe's either oceans or tad'n'nicks, eating at random cafes for dinner and tea.
We also spent many a night walking in the surf on the beach as the sun went down or watching wild seals in the harbour terrorizing small boats for a chance of a lost fish.
There wasnt one day it rained, and two or three days where it was absolutly gorgeous hence my sunburn :) , we both even have a tan !
Thursday we went to a small harbour town called mevagissey it was gorgeous, had some fudge watched a cormorant diving and crabs on the harbour bed had a pork and apple pasty gorgeous and visited my favourite pagan store - lavender pillow. The only part of this day which i didnt like was the western greyhound buses which are the worst i have been on three minute connection time only enough room for the locals not sure if your going to get on and every hour ! Hated it :( Except for that was a lovely day we also visited the small aquarium.
Friday we just walked about newquay taking in what we could and took a walk down to porth where we sat in the sunshine in a small cafe by the side of porth beach with some dinner.
Saturday was a slightly overcast day but still lovely, we visited the zoo and spent 10 - 330 there. Our highlights was the 4 baby meerkats, Lynx eating rabbits head first (just glad already dead) Fossa, otters and Mara. Was sad the rainforest part was under construction missing many animals and the raccoons had gone. Best value quality food at the zoo bbq, proper chicken fillet bbq'd for less than £5 with chilli sauce yum. And an evening walk on towan to tolcarne beach.
Sunday we went to newquay aquarium had a lovely time and then went and did some sun bathing on fistral beach and saw the huge sea crab the seagulls had caught and smashed on the rocks slightly off putting for swimming. lol.
Monday we went to truro this time on the first bus to avoid the greyhound buses lol. Had a quick look round and ryan got his dream theater album. Had dinner at tad n nicks and went on the net then went for some retail therapy and then to the beach.Ryan also had a great time on the 2p falls winning two kitten and a dog keyring a few spidermen goodies also.
Tuesday we braved the buses again but got the 9 40 much better and went to heligan gardens where ryan was attacked by a stick insect. Another lovely day and caught the connecting bus by 5 seconds ! Then went to the local st austell pub and saw the seals down in the harbour it was only a common seal but was a great memory.
Wednesday we just tried to cram everything in walking on the beach towan to tolcarne again and then walking up and down fistral knee deep in warm sea surf and obtaining my sun burn. I bought my bracelet and ryan bought me one too, got some fudge and had a look round. Saw the seals again for one last time only 5ft away.
Whilst away also tried the local booze strawberry wine and cream and strawberry liqeur gorgeous i would reccomend them.
Got the coach back on thursday morning 1030 and got back 9 30 not so bad except for the glastonbury travellers.
Anyhow brilliant holiday probably my best holiday ever me and ryan loved it and i enjoyed showing ryan things he'd never seen and it was lovely.
Long rant over.
Becca
- Location:Newquay
- Mood:
pleased - Music:YMCA
