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yes well i have something thhat breaks my heart like 8 times a month or more and no-one to talk to about it.

I feel so broody like its more than any other woman can feel, like to feel complete i need to be pregnant, i keep mentioning this to my fiancee and anytime i mention it he just blankly replies "i love you" then more or less ignores me doesnt try and talk to me about it just i love you and heads off to sleep. Leaving me feeling extrmely angry at him he just seems so inconsiderate i know hes not but he just doesnt seem to think.
Its like a joke i just feel like i cant trust he will ever say yes, he is occaisionaly sympathetic but how do i know he isnt just going to keep dragging things  along.

Anyway this just breaks my heart i just want to cry i try not to feel this way but just cant help it

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Ten Black Roses - Rasmus

  • Jul. 28th, 2009 at 11:13 AM
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Life is like a boat in a bottle
Try to sail you cant with no air
day by day it only gets harder
trying to scream but nobody cares
through the glass you see the same faces
hear the voices fade like a drone
when your lifes a boat in the bottle
your surrounded drifting alone

dont leave me now
stay another day
with me
when your sad and no one knows it
ill send you black roses
when your hearts dark and frozen
i'll send you black roses

Far away way we wait for each other
im still on that road to nowhere
kiss yourself for me in the miirror
tie a black rose into your hair

dont lose your faith
share another night with me

when your sad and no one knows it
ill send you black roses
when your hearts dark and frozen
i'll send you black roses

Ten black roses
Ten black roses

Life is like a boat in the bottle
try to sail you cant with no air
day by day it only gets harder
try to scream but nobody cares

when your sad and no one knows ity
ill send you black roses
when your hearts dark and frozen
ill send you black roses

ten black roses
ten black roses

Sing for absolution

  • Jul. 19th, 2009 at 7:55 AM
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Lips are turning blue
a kiss that cant renew
i only dream of you
my beautiful

tiptoe your room
a starlight in the gloom
i only dream of you
and you never knew

sing for absoloution
i will be singing
and falling from your grace

theres no where left to hide
in no one to confide
the truth burns deep inside
and well never die

lips are turning blue
a kiss that cant renew
i only dream of you
my beautiful

sing for absolution
i will be singing
and falling from your grace
oh............................

sing for abolution
i will be singing
and falling from your grace
yeah............................
our worlds remail unrectified
and our souls
wont be exhumed

Writer's Block: Lights Out

  • Jul. 12th, 2009 at 9:47 PM
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All it takes is a blackout to realize how much we rely on electricity. What's your most memorable story from a power outage?


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I have no big story regarding a power outage but we did have a period of them every week or so and one that was twenty minutes short of them having to pay out for defrosted freezers etc. This is barnoldswick lancashire back of beyondville. My favourite thing;) is spending half an hour boliing a brew on the hob !!

Writer's Block: Duos

  • Jul. 9th, 2009 at 11:55 AM
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Sam and Diane, Ross and Rachel, Chuck and Blair—who is your favorite TV couple?


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Manny Bianco and Bernard L Black have to be my favourite tv couple. Even though their relationship is not what you call conventional, they are very much the married couple. Shouting at each other and putting up with each other through thick and thin. Setting manny impossible soup tower tasks introducing his hand to the toastie maker and screening his calls. Great Laughs....
Black books 10/10
Becca

Writer's Block: Newsworthy

  • Jul. 7th, 2009 at 9:33 PM
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What news source do you use most often?


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What news source do i use most often? Well i say this has to be the worst question ever just gives me more reason to rant, though it does cure the writers block i do not find it very imaginitive and i dont see what good can come from reading others answers. You dont simply look onto anothers page just because they like the same news page as yours. Anyway rant over.
Becca

Writer's Block: Firsts

  • Jul. 6th, 2009 at 11:27 AM
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What was the subject title of your first-ever LJ entry?

Submitted By [info]paperxflowerz


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It was not so long ago and  was to do with my june 09 holiday in newquay

Writer's Block: Listen to This

  • Jul. 5th, 2009 at 5:18 PM
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If a friend asked you for some new music recommendations, what would you suggest?


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I would say none of it. There doesnt seem to be anything new that is of any good. 2004 was a good year for music,  indie and alternative music of the period i thought was ace. Also nme bands  of 2007 though most new stuff seems to have gone majorly down hill. Bowie, Muse and Manic street preachers as well as Finnish bands HIM nightwish and apocalyptica are the only bands i wouldnt have to think about reccomending.
Becca

Manchester

  • Jul. 4th, 2009 at 11:41 PM
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Manchester today , I dont know how close to the mark i was with my predictions yesterday. But i came home with two drab t-shirts for work from evans, a mint green cami from ann summers, seed of chucky DVD, League of extraordinary gentlemen and the linguini incident on DVD. I cant believe i have the linguini incident on dvd i am a big bowie  fan and have been looking for this DVD for ages. Am well chuffed
Becca

Why I need money !

  • Jul. 3rd, 2009 at 11:07 PM
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This is a little rant, for once i dont need money for just clothes shoes or even music but to..
1. To be able to afford our own place so that we can ...
2. Get Married and have the wedding that both we and ryan want , as we want to do it properly, so then we can
3. Fill the spare bedrooms with sprogs which would be lovely
4. And then live a happy life.

So Its going to be a long time before this happens and i fulfill my dreams.

Becca

Manchester

  • Jul. 3rd, 2009 at 8:45 PM
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I think it might be manchester tommorow, we'll catch the train from sheffield and have a nice stroll round manchester. I have taken note to make sure i go to afflecks palace havnt been in such a long time, i really enjoyed it in there when i had money to burn, i'd of loved to have had somewhere like that when i was in my teens.
I'll probably get some t-shirts for work a cd if im lucky from fopp and a starbucks frappacino which has nothing to do with coffee, but my lil sis had made me succum to the master which is starbucks.
Anyway we will see with tommorows post.
Becca

Writer's Block: Dog Day Afternoon

  • Jul. 3rd, 2009 at 10:46 AM
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The Dog Days of summer, the hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, start today. What's your favorite thing to do in hot weather?


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Well i have had two weeks of  heat  1 week at newquay and one week at home at 30 degrees c phew, I spent a lot at the beach, ice cream, walking, chilling by the sea. But when im at home and working in long black pants etc its not so fun. Especially as its now horrible as the weekend approaches, though i would have liked to go for a nice chilled glass of rose in the beer garden and an ice cream in the peace gardens.

Writer's Block: Busting Blocks

  • Jul. 1st, 2009 at 10:56 AM
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It's blockbuster season in movie theaters. What was the last movie you saw?


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The last film i saw was angels and demons at centertainment sheffield, It was brilliant except a little upsetting when my fave character turned. Though completely amazing and awesome kept me gripped all the way through. Brilliant locations and great actors and plotlines, i would strongly reccomend it. 5 *. Get it on DVD.
Becca

F***ing Government companies

  • Jun. 30th, 2009 at 12:49 PM
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Here is my rant, my vent for my anger.
Why is it that no one seems to know what any one is doing. All you want to know is who you need to talk to and you end up being passed from company to company until someone says they have nothing to do with it and send you back to the first company the HM revenues and Customs whose site you checked originally and couldnt find anything that seemed to relate to my problem through all the jargon and crap, who i cant email so i have to call waste minutes and probably not be able to get through to. So good luck to me on wednesday/thursday.
And while im here... Thanks a lot O'briens/Parkridge Ltd for fucking up my National Insurance number and causing all this stress but then again there good at that and not double checking important information or doing anything respectably. The whole thing was a joke.
B

Summary of my holiday - Newquay '09

  • Jun. 28th, 2009 at 6:05 PM
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9/10 Holiday 17th - 25th June
Me and Ryan travelled on the national express service to newquay from sheffield changing at birmingham starting at 7:50 and arriving at 5:50. It wasn't too bad and was sunny when we arrived. We stayed for the eight nights in the Longbeach Hotel b&b, it wasnt the smartest place but we had everything we needed double ensuite digital tv and a gorgeous view of fistral beach and the golf course out of a massive window by our bed, watching the sun set over the sea was fantastic.
Most mornings we went out for breakfast and had a full english at our favourite cafe's either oceans or tad'n'nicks, eating at random cafes for dinner and tea.
We also spent many a night walking in the surf on the beach as the sun went down or watching wild seals in the harbour terrorizing small boats for a chance of a lost fish.
There wasnt one day it rained, and two or three days where it was absolutly gorgeous hence my sunburn :) , we both even have a tan !
Thursday we went to a small harbour town called mevagissey it was gorgeous, had some fudge watched a cormorant diving and crabs on the harbour bed had a pork and apple pasty gorgeous and visited my favourite pagan store - lavender pillow. The only part of this day which i didnt like was the western greyhound buses which are the worst i have been on three minute connection time only enough room for the locals not sure if your going to get on and every hour ! Hated it :( Except for that was a lovely day we also visited the small aquarium.
Friday we  just walked about newquay taking in what we could and took a walk down to porth where we sat in the sunshine in a small cafe by the side of porth beach with some dinner.
Saturday was a slightly overcast day but still lovely, we visited the zoo and spent 10 - 330 there. Our highlights was the 4 baby meerkats, Lynx eating rabbits head first (just glad already dead) Fossa, otters and Mara. Was sad the rainforest part was under construction missing many animals and the raccoons had gone. Best value quality food at the zoo bbq, proper chicken fillet bbq'd for less than £5 with chilli sauce yum. And an evening walk on towan to tolcarne beach.
Sunday we went to newquay aquarium had a lovely time and then went and did some sun bathing on fistral beach and saw the huge sea crab the seagulls had caught and smashed on the rocks slightly off putting for swimming. lol.
Monday we went to truro this time on the first bus to avoid the greyhound buses lol. Had a quick look round and ryan got his dream theater album. Had dinner at tad n nicks and went on the net then went for some retail therapy and then to the beach.Ryan also had a great time on the 2p falls winning two kitten and a dog keyring a few spidermen goodies also.
Tuesday we braved the buses again but got the 9 40 much better and went to heligan gardens where ryan was attacked by a stick insect. Another lovely day and caught the connecting bus by 5 seconds ! Then went to the local st austell pub and saw the seals down in the harbour it was only a common seal but was a great memory.
Wednesday we just tried to cram everything in walking on the beach towan to tolcarne again and then walking up and down fistral knee deep in warm sea surf and obtaining my sun burn. I bought my bracelet and ryan bought me one too, got some fudge and had a look round. Saw the seals again for one last time only 5ft away.
Whilst away also tried the local booze strawberry wine and cream and strawberry liqeur gorgeous i would reccomend them.
Got the coach back on thursday morning 1030 and got back 9 30 not so bad except for the glastonbury travellers.

Anyhow brilliant holiday probably my best holiday ever me and ryan loved it and i enjoyed showing ryan things he'd never seen and it was lovely.

Long rant over.

Becca